maybeitsmadness

These days float by like spaceships drifting and revolving a doorway opens and we're falling through the spaces through the stars through all those half-way places as we light with graceful footsteps Upon the shadow of a dream a land we've never walked yet somehow still remember where a whisper is a scream and a heart is inclined to stop for fleeting moments, breathless seconds a silence filled by the ticking of an ageless clock–- Your eyes they shine like oceans underneath the darkest skies slowly moving rolling weeping strolling reflecting where the monsters lie the deep the dark the cold the clear the few small wo

we pray to the flickering light that keeps us alive dim glow spreading in a circle to which we turn out faces: we do not dare turn to see what lies beyond it, but stand blinded hoping for safety dark-dreamed whispers slide through our ears thick and spiraling, snaking, we hum them away with broken off-key melodies and shiver as they stroke our bodies somewhere in the back of our minds we know that this light won't last forever and that tomorrow will plunge us into darkness but we silently plead and pray that that time won't come for a a day a week a month a year a life that when it finally goes out, and we have to face th

Somewhere beaded droplets beat down on glass panes colliding, gathering, tumbling downward (your eyes are closed, and I can still hear your breathing over my heartbeat) Night never completely leaves us, daylight is fleeting (stillness is so much easier to accept when you are not alone; darkness is just as cool and calm but nowhere near as empty) Skies are etched with lightning and birdsong and laughter Sunlight circles endlessly (you can't see in the dark even with your eyes open–-) Somewhere it is always dusk; Somewhere it is raining. (-–but we can feel our way when they're closed)

And to think Upon entering this distant, foreign place We thought we would be loved.

The magician is dark and bejeweled, entrancing flutering cape and fingers and breath staring, at you, and his eyes are like space. and then he holds up the card, and it is the right card and, suddenly, you are in love. Teach me, you long to beg for the unthinkable, whisper your yearning, but do not say aloud But he looks into your eyes (stars somehwere high above us are crashing, imploding, dying spinning out of control in this endlessly spinning place) looks into your eyes and knows (dying and burning, twisting and swirling) and "No," he says, "No."

too afraid to tell you that I love you I burn candles whisper messages into the smoke char my scraps of longing watching them float up into the gray-and-rain stars Perhaps one day when you are among the clouds and I am somewhere between sleep and drifting you will catch them and listen and wonder.

Welcome to this barren land the dead the dying the dreamless all end here all end Welcome to the wastelands. (nightfall and they all come dancing dry bones cracking scream-laugh chancing sand-filled stars and all come prancing beneath the sunless sky) no place for you here among the forgotten monsters and abandoned nightmares grinning skulls and claws are not for you– and won't you join our song? (long-limbed and stretched, unfurling deep, dark, eyes still swirling fingers curling too many fingers too many teeth) –hello Little One, hello dear girl I knew one such as you, so long ago, so lovely, so lovely, and

We laugh ourselves awake to keep from crying collapsing from the effort of being alive There's no other escape but those which we dream fingers idly stroking the faces of the moon longing to reach out and kiss the darkness of the sky (so silky flow the words) burning paper, ink glows illuminating our desire to explode out of our bodies and swirl into the heavens like a long-ago painting of stars Together we are drunk on moonlight laughing ourselves to dust so the nightmare's can't find us We wander this desert land no color from that cold white light shadow light shadow light shadow no differentiation (hold me closer) al

I should be happy, Now that I finally have What I so longed for. But panic wells up, forces out, terror engulfing held against the dark like it used to happen only in my dreams you whisper softly, hug me closer and I cry instead. this isn't how it's supposed to go (where is my laugher) why be afraid of what I've finally escaped now that I'm free I encircle myself with chains when I tore down the walls inside me there was nothing (to keep me) safe and when we kiss pain shoots through my chest heartache and longing and grief for what i have found (feelings messed up inside) i love you all wrong

feathers falling from the sky we gaze up in wonder at the flock overhead soaring, sweeping off they wheel and turn above us now; the shrill cries sounding almost human to our untrained ears scores of birds, flying away from the cold and dark and wet to somewhere better how do they know where to go? if only we had that inner pull showing us the right path, direction instead you take my hand in yours (us creatures doomed to tumble and grasp our way through life, so much is darkness) and you pull me to you as we hold each other we are laughing raucous cries with those birds spinning in the cascade of dirty down we don't kno

Many years, and yes, I still wear a plastic-femur necklace.  It makes little sense, but it was supposed to be symbolic. (p.s.  I'm barely Christian) The space heater is beginning to gag and wheeze in electrical spurts of life, but it's COLD baby and December has more icicle teeth than this heater can survive. (p.s. I am supposed to be at school, but truancy is just so trendy.) Here We Go Again          The endless reel/fishingline/movieclip/reality. (p.s. you can say(remember) it with any word you want)                                        Row boat lost                                        Hate using paddles                  

i. You taught me that every river has a ribcage filled with crayfish and cast-off pebbles and a whisper where the heart should be. If you look the currents in the eye you will find a wishbone jutting from the gaps and gasping for air, a stray limb or misguided root that has forgotten how to grow toward the sun. Grab both ends and pull until the fault line stretches all the way to the ocean. You will hear it splinter, the marrow dripping out like hot wax or some frozen nectar bled from unsuspecting sky. This is where the evening splits in two: one half scribbled hastily on the back of a shedding rainstorm and the other devour

he gave me glass wings for my thoughts and taught me how to fly through midnight souls. and when the nights were over he poured the salmon pink capsules of starlight in my hands to last me through the day. i was no longer the girl who went to the park on saturday mornings to drown paper airplanes in the pond. i was imprisoned by freedom and i needed the comfort of lies to warm my underskin. i could live like the dying and so i fell in love with secret-flavored nights and the moon that shone in our eyes and insomnia (do you know angels can't sleep?) and the things that made me whole. and one time we were soaring and he leaned over and whispe

i. there are days when i think i loved you because you needed me more than i needed you. ii. i still read the words you wrote to me and think about how much care you put into each syllable, and i try so hard to remember why it happened that i can't remember how. iii. they can say everyone is beautiful all they want but it's still a lie. only a few people are beautiful and they pay for it in happiness. iv. the world is dying only because it's so goddamn young.